Couples therapy, known as marriage counselling, couples therapy and marital therapy is a wonderful tool to help couples reconnect, improve communication and repair their relationship.
Couples therapy teaches partners how to work together, problem solve, listen to each other’s perspectives and ideas through active listening and plan for the future.
Over time, a relationship, much like the individuals within it, undergoes change and evolution. The ability to turn conflicts and issues into mutual understanding and harmony is key to maintaining a robust and dynamic relationship.
Toronto Family Therapy and Mediation welcomes all couples and family dynamics. We have experienced couples therapists that can help you find the best strategies to work through these issues in a safe, neutral and non-judgmental environment.
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When is the best time to start couples counselling?
If you find yourself asking this question, it is likely a good idea for you to start today.
Every couple can benefit from couples therapy. Seeking help is a sign of strength! You do not need to wait until there is conflict in a relationship to seek couples counselling. Even the best relationships can find ways to better communicate and support each other.
Some signs that you may need an unbiased third part to assist are:
- Lack of intimacy or emotional connection,
- Not being able to communicate without fighting,
- Loss of trust
- Feelings of resentment or complacency towards your partner.
- Imbalance in responsibilities
- Several attempts to address problems in the relationship, but nothing has worked
- Feeling unhappy and dissatisfied in your relationship
- Struggling with parenting responsibilities
- Have different values and goals from your partner
- Have different visions for the future
- Experiencing stress or trauma in the family
If you feel that there are issues you are unable to work through, it is best to find an experienced couples therapist to work with you on your relationship before considering separation or divorce.
What is Couples Counselling or Therapy?
Couples Therapy (other popular names: relationship counselling, marriage counselling) is an integral part of any healthy couple, providing excellent tools to strengthen relationships and marriages.
Over the course of a relationship, couples will inevitably encounter difficult times. Conflict arises in a relationship when the couple do not have the tools to communicate in a healthy and effective way.
Common Reasons for Couple Therapy
Relationships are not easy. All relationships have ups and downs, but some essential component to a successful relationship is love, trust, respect and safety.
Couples often encounter challenges in their relationship, including differing perspectives on key matters such as:
- Financial management and spending priorities within the family.
- Parenting styles and disagreements on children’s education and upbringing.
- Discrepancies in religious beliefs and their influence on daily life.
- Conflicts or difficulties with a partner’s family, including in-law relationships.
- Varied expectations regarding household dynamics and the division of daily chores.
- Disagreements on living arrangements, including the choice of city or neighborhood.
- Issues surrounding infidelity and the resulting trust concerns.
- Sexual and intimacy issues, including mismatched expectations and desires, fantasies.
- Emotional disconnect and the feeling of growing apart.
These common areas of contention can significantly impact the health and happiness of a relationship.
Benefits of Couples Therapy – What Can Couples Counselling Help With?
Our skilled and compassionate Therapists at Toronto Family Therapy and Mediation are passionate about helping couples and families work towards strengthening their bond and living fulfilled lives together. Couples Therapy can help with any number of issues that may arise in a relationship.
Strengthen Intimacy or Emotional Connection
One common issue that arises in many romantic relationships is a difference in how each person feels connected. Each person expresses love in their own individual way, when you and your partner connect in different ways there may be a feeling of distance or loneliness. For one person this may be physical touch and quality time together and another might be gifts and hearing words of affirmation every day. You may need to explore what you can do to make your partner feel more loved and connected and improve the intimacy in your relationship.
Gratitude is another way to strengthen the bond between partners. We so often focus on the issues in our relationship and not the things we love and appreciate about each other. Having a daily reminder of what you are grateful for and why your life is better with your partner can help you to appreciate them and feel more connected.
Rebuild Trust
If there has been a situation or situations that lead to a break in trust, it can be very damaging to the relationship. Couples counselling can find the best course of action to mend the relationship and rebuild trust. This often includes getting down to the root issues, take responsibility and have open and honest communication. At times it may seem impossible to repair the damage if there is a severe lack of trust in a relationship, however, trust can be rebuilt by working together and in the end you can have a stronger foundation to move forward with. Our couples therapists have years of experience assisting couples in rebuilding their relationships.
Better Communication
Communication can be difficult, especially when there is conflict in your relationship. It is important when communicating to do so in a constructive manner. Be clear and concise with the point you are trying to make and try to use I statements instead of you statements. Blaming and criticizing will only make people feel defensive and escalate the situation. Approach the conversation with empathy of your partner and try to be understanding of how they feel in the moment. If emotions are high you may need to take a break from the conversation and come back when you have had a chance to cool down. This may require you to hold off on a topic until you meet again with your couples counsellor. They can help assist you with skills to better communicate without creating additional arguments.
Finding Patterns in Your Relationship
After a few sessions with your Couples Therapist, they will be able to help spot patterns in your relationship. A professional and objective third party will be able to see similarities in your communication and dealings with each other that are not apparent to you. These patterns can identify behaviours that may harm your relationship, and your therapist will guide you in the best path to a more connected and fulfilled relationship.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy Sessions
Couples therapy creates a supportive environment where both partners can concentrate on strengthening their relationship. Partners can expect to engage in open and honest communication, guided by a trained therapist who will help identify underlying issues and set achievable goals. Therapists provide exercises that help resolve relationship conflicts by increasing empathy and emotional intimacy through better communication skills.
These sessions, equipped with tools and strategies, can be transformative in relationships by strengthening the bond between partners in a supportive and non-judgmental setting.
Sessions and Duration
Couples therapy sessions typically begin with an initial consultation where the therapist gathers background information and identifies key issues. This session sets the stage for future work, focusing on understanding the couple’s dynamics and goals.
The initial session may be a joint session, or separated into two individual sessions, where each partner can have their own time with the therapist to provide their individual perspective, background and observation in a safe place, without judgment allowing for their voice to be heard. This will be determined at the time of intake based on the nature of the relationship and the reason for attending therapy, and what the couple thinks is best at that time.
In ongoing sessions, the structure often includes communication exercises and emotional exploration. Activities might involve role-playing, conflict resolution strategies, and homework assignments to practice new skills. Sessions usually occur weekly or bi-weekly, but the frequency can adjust based on the couple’s progress and needs. The therapist may recommend individual sessions with either one, or each of the partners from time to time.
Virtual or In-Person Couples Therapy
Both virtual and in-person therapy sessions offer unique benefits and considerations. In-person sessions provide a tangible environment that can foster deeper connection and non-verbal communication cues. Conversely, virtual therapy offers convenience and accessibility, making it easier for couples with busy schedules or those in long-distance relationships. Virtual sessions can be particularly beneficial during times of health concerns or for those who prefer the comfort of their home. Tailoring the choice between virtual and in-person therapy to a couple’s specific circumstances can enhance the effectiveness of the therapeutic process. Both are equally as effective and really is based on each person’s preference and flexibility.
Why Couples Counselling?
Some people may think couples counselling is a last resort for a relationship that is about to end. So many people choose to give up when issues arise, seeking help shows commitment to the relationship and a desire for growth. Relationships can be complex and confusing which is why we are here to help.
Marriage Therapy can be an effective intervention in preventing separation and divorce. Not getting along with your partner can be stressful.
A qualified therapist can help work with you though your relationship issues. They are trained in conflict resolution and can teach you skills on how to communicate in a more loving and respectful manner.
If you are looking for Couples Therapy & Coaching in Toronto, Ontario and would like to learn more about our team of Registered Social Workers and Registered Psychotherapists who specialize in couples counselling, contact us today.
Couples Therapy Approaches
The couples therapists on our team and Toronto Family Therapy and Mediation are highly specialized. They have advanced degrees in psychotherapy, social work, conflict resolution and expressive arts therapy. They are also trained in many modalities and approaches.
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